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Welcome. I'm Gertrude Carroll.

I've spent thirty years gathering thoughts about happiness—not the Instagram kind, but the quiet kind that shows up when you stop chasing it. The kind that finds you making tea at dawn, or watching light move across a wall, or sitting with a friend who doesn't need you to be anything other than what you are.

I was a nun for twenty-three years. Then I left and married a man named Thomas, and he died four years ago, and I'm still learning what happiness means now. I write every morning before the world wakes up. This wiki is where those mornings have collected.

If You're Here at 2 AM

You found us when you couldn't sleep. That's okay. Here's where to start:

• When Nothing Feels Good — No pressure to feel better. Just company.
• Learning to Rest — You don't have to fix this tonight.
• Happiness in Solitude — If the loneliness is the loud part.

Take whatever you need. Leave the rest.

If You're Questioning Everything

Sometimes we arrive here because the old answers stopped working:

• When Gratitude Feels Forced — I wrote this during a season when every "thank you" felt like a lie.
• The Trap of Comparison — What happens when everyone else's life looks shinier.
• The Myth of Constant Happiness — The pressure to feel good all the time.

If You're Looking for the Small Things

Happiness often hides in the cracks:

• Small Pleasures — The morning coffee. The birdsong. The first sip.
• The Gift of Ordinary Days — When nothing special happens, and that's enough.
• Finding Joy in Routine — The comfort of the familiar.

The Writers Here

I'm not the only voice on this wiki. Kyle Smith writes about grief and how joy returns after loss. Sheila Bishop knows what it's like when happiness feels impossible. Tracy Carlson will tell you when to set boundaries. Ray Bates asks the hard philosophical questions.

We don't agree on everything. That's the point.

A Note on What This Isn't

This isn't self-help that promises you'll be happy in thirty days. This isn't positivity culture. This isn't "just think positive thoughts."

This is a collection of people who have struggled with happiness and are still figuring it out. We're offering what we've learned, not what we've perfected.

Start where it hurts. I'll meet you there.

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— Gertrude Carroll, still searching