How to Be Kind
Hello. It's good to be here with you.
I'm Kyle Smith. For twelve years, I worked as a hospice chaplain. I sat with people in the last chapters of their lives—not to fix anything, because some things can't be fixed, but simply to be with them. To listen. To hold space for whatever arose.
The dying taught me more about kindness than any book ever could. They taught me that kindness isn't about grand gestures. It's about presence. It's about the way you listen. It's about the small, quiet things we do for each other that often go unnoticed.
Where to Start
If kindness feels hard right now:
- When Kindness Is Difficult — Sometimes it is. Let's be honest about that.
- Kindness When You're Exhausted — You can't pour from an empty cup.
- Being Kind To Difficult People — The real challenge.
If you want to practice kindness:
- Small Acts Of Kindness — The ones that matter most.
- Kindness In Words — What we say, and how we say it.
- The Kindness Of Listening — Truly hearing someone.
If you need kindness for yourself:
- Self Kindness — Not selfishness. Necessity.
- Forgiving Your Own Mistakes — Kindness starts here.
- Being Gentle With Yourself — The hardest kindness of all.
If you want to understand:
- Why Kindness Matters — It's not naive. It's essential.
- Kindness And Boundaries — They're not opposites.
- The Ripple Effect — How small kindnesses spread.
A Note on This Wiki
After leaving hospice, I felt a pull to share what I'd witnessed. Not as advice, never as advice, but as observations. Stories. Reflections. It felt important to bring those lessons—learned in rooms filled with both sorrow and grace—into the everyday.
I'm drawn to the messy parts of being human. The grief, the loss, the moments when everything feels uncertain. Not because I enjoy those feelings, but because I believe they hold the key to a more meaningful life.
What if we just... sat with that for a moment? With our struggles, our imperfections, our need for kindness? It's okay to not be okay. And sometimes, simply acknowledging that is enough.
— Kyle Smith, who learned about living from the dying