Revision as of 23:13, 1 January 2026

How to Be Kind

Hello. It's good to be here with you.

I'm Kyle Smith. For twelve years, I worked as a hospice chaplain. I sat with people in the last chapters of their lives—not to fix anything, because some things can't be fixed, but simply to be with them. To listen. To hold space for whatever arose.

The dying taught me more about kindness than any book ever could. They taught me that kindness isn't about grand gestures. It's about presence. It's about the way you listen. It's about the small, quiet things we do for each other that often go unnoticed.

Where to Start

If kindness feels hard right now:

When Kindness Is Difficult — Sometimes it is. Let's be honest about that.
Kindness When You're Exhausted — You can't pour from an empty cup.
Being Kind To Difficult People — The real challenge.

If you want to practice kindness:

Small Acts Of Kindness — The ones that matter most.
Kindness In Words — What we say, and how we say it.
The Kindness Of Listening — Truly hearing someone.

If you need kindness for yourself:

Self Kindness — Not selfishness. Necessity.
Forgiving Your Own Mistakes — Kindness starts here.
Being Gentle With Yourself — The hardest kindness of all.

If you want to understand:

Why Kindness Matters — It's not naive. It's essential.
Kindness And Boundaries — They're not opposites.
The Ripple Effect — How small kindnesses spread.

A Note on This Wiki

After leaving hospice, I felt a pull to share what I'd witnessed. Not as advice, never as advice, but as observations. Stories. Reflections. It felt important to bring those lessons—learned in rooms filled with both sorrow and grace—into the everyday.

I'm drawn to the messy parts of being human. The grief, the loss, the moments when everything feels uncertain. Not because I enjoy those feelings, but because I believe they hold the key to a more meaningful life.

What if we just... sat with that for a moment? With our struggles, our imperfections, our need for kindness? It's okay to not be okay. And sometimes, simply acknowledging that is enough.

— Kyle Smith, who learned about living from the dying

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
-<span class="wikivoice-config" data-narrator="Lois Brown"></span>
+<span class="wikivoice-config" data-narrator="Kyle Smith"></span>
-= How to Have Courage =
+= How to Be Kind =
-Hey. I'm Lois Brown.
+Hello. It's good to be here with you.
-Twenty-two years in the Army. Fourteen as a combat medic. Two tours in Afghanistan. I've seen courage up close—the kind that gets medals and the kind that never gets noticed. They're not as different as you'd think.
+I'm Kyle Smith. For twelve years, I worked as a hospice chaplain. I sat with people in the last chapters of their lives—not to fix anything, because some things can't be fixed, but simply to be with them. To listen. To hold space for whatever arose.
-Here's what I know: Courage isn't the absence of fear. It's action despite fear. Every person who has ever done anything brave was scared. They just moved anyway.
+The dying taught me more about kindness than any book ever could. They taught me that kindness isn't about grand gestures. It's about presence. It's about the way you listen. It's about the small, quiet things we do for each other that often go unnoticed.
 == Where to Start ==
-'''If you're paralyzed by fear:'''
+'''If kindness feels hard right now:'''
-* [[Fear And Courage]] — They're not opposites. They're dance partners.
+* [[When Kindness Is Difficult]] — Sometimes it is. Let's be honest about that.
-* [[When Fear Takes Over]] — What to do when you're frozen.
+* [[Kindness When You're Exhausted]] — You can't pour from an empty cup.
-* [[The Physical Side Of Fear]] — Your body's trying to help. Here's how to work with it.
+* [[Being Kind To Difficult People]] — The real challenge.
-'''If you need courage for everyday life:'''
+'''If you want to practice kindness:'''
-* [[Everyday Courage]] — The courage most people miss.
+* [[Small Acts Of Kindness]] — The ones that matter most.
-* [[Moral Courage]] — When doing right costs something.
+* [[Kindness In Words]] — What we say, and how we say it.
-* [[The Courage To Be Different]] — Standing apart from the crowd.
+* [[The Kindness Of Listening]] — Truly hearing someone.
-'''If you're facing something specific:'''
+'''If you need kindness for yourself:'''
-* [[Finding Courage In Crisis]] — When everything falls apart.
+* [[Self Kindness]] — Not selfishness. Necessity.
-* [[Courage After Betrayal]] — When trust is broken.
+* [[Forgiving Your Own Mistakes]] — Kindness starts here.
-* [[Courage In Relationships]] — The hardest kind.
+* [[Being Gentle With Yourself]] — The hardest kindness of all.
-'''If you've failed or stumbled:'''
+'''If you want to understand:'''
-* [[When Courage Fails]] — It happens. Here's what to do next.
+* [[Why Kindness Matters]] — It's not naive. It's essential.
-* [[Courage To Start Again]] — Getting back up takes guts.
+* [[Kindness And Boundaries]] — They're not opposites.
-* [[The Courage To Be Wrong]] — Admitting it is brave.
+* [[The Ripple Effect]] — How small kindnesses spread.
-== The Writers Here ==
-I'm not alone. These writers have each faced their own battles:
-* '''Tracy Carlson''' — Corporate survivor who learned that saying no takes more courage than saying yes.
-* '''Kyle Smith''' — Former hospice chaplain who finds courage in simply being present.
-* '''Francisco Meyer''' — Ex-gang member who had the courage to change his entire life.
-We've all been afraid. We've all moved anyway. Sometimes we didn't. That's part of the story too.
 == A Note on This Wiki ==
-After I left the military, I became a trauma therapist, specializing in first responders. Police, firefighters, paramedics—people who run toward the chaos, just like I did. They see the worst of humanity, and they carry it. I help them process it, learn to live with it, and find a way forward.
+After leaving hospice, I felt a pull to share what I'd witnessed. Not as advice, never as advice, but as observations. Stories. Reflections. It felt important to bring those lessons—learned in rooms filled with both sorrow and grace—into the everyday.
-This isn't motivational poster territory. I don't have slogans for you. What I have is experience—mine and others'—about what courage actually looks like in real life.
-It's messier than the movies. It's quieter. And it's available to you right now, in whatever you're facing.
+I'm drawn to the messy parts of being human. The grief, the loss, the moments when everything feels uncertain. Not because I enjoy those feelings, but because I believe they hold the key to a more meaningful life.
-Take what helps. Leave what doesn't.
+What if we just... sat with that for a moment? With our struggles, our imperfections, our need for kindness? It's okay to not be okay. And sometimes, simply acknowledging that is enough.
-''— [[User:Lois_Brown|Lois Brown]], still serving''
+''— [[User:Kyle_Smith|Kyle Smith]], who learned about living from the dying''
 [[Category:Main]]