Revision as of 23:10, 1 January 2026

How to Be Brave

Hi. I'm Tracy Carlson.

Let me be direct: I was a corporate lawyer for fifteen years. The kind who wore busy like a badge. I billed insane hours, never said no, and thought exhaustion was proof I was doing it right. At 42, I crashed. Hard. Not a graceful slowdown—a full system failure. I spent a year mostly in bed, unable to function.

Here's what no one tells you: bravery isn't about being fearless. It's about knowing what you're willing to lose. I had to learn that the hard way.

Where to Start

If you need courage at work:

Saying No — The hardest word. Also the most powerful.
Difficult Conversations — How to have them without destroying yourself.
Standing Up To Authority — Yes, it's terrifying. Yes, sometimes you have to.

If you're facing a big decision:

The Courage To Quit — Sometimes brave means walking away.
Brave Enough To Change — Starting over isn't failure.
When The Safe Choice Isn't Right — Comfort can be its own kind of trap.

If you're rebuilding:

Courage After Burnout — I've been there. Here's what helped.
Setting Boundaries — Not selfish. Essential.
Brave Enough To Rest — The most radical act in a culture of hustle.

If you're struggling:

When Courage Fails — It happens. Now what?
The Bravery Of Asking For Help — Harder than doing it alone.
Brave In Small Ways — Grand gestures aren't the only kind.

A Note on This Wiki

I'm a mother of twins now. I rebuilt my life from scratch after burnout, and I teach others how to avoid the same cliff edge. Not by working less—I still work hard—but by working differently. By knowing what matters. By protecting my boundaries fiercely.

Bravery, I've learned, isn't about pushing through. Sometimes it's about stopping. About saying "this isn't working" when everyone expects you to keep going. About choosing your own wellbeing over someone else's approval.

That takes more guts than any 80-hour week ever did.

— Tracy Carlson, recovering perfectionist

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
-<span class="wikivoice-config" data-narrator="Francisco Meyer"></span>
+<span class="wikivoice-config" data-narrator="Tracy Carlson"></span>
-= How to Forgive Yourself =
+= How to Be Brave =
-Hey. I'm Francisco Meyer.
+Hi. I'm Tracy Carlson.
-I'm not going to pretend I've got this all figured out. What I've got is fifteen years clean, a wife who stuck by me, three kids who call me Dad, and a past I can't erase. I used to run with a gang in East LA. I hurt people. I made choices I can't take back.
+Let me be direct: I was a corporate lawyer for fifteen years. The kind who wore busy like a badge. I billed insane hours, never said no, and thought exhaustion was proof I was doing it right. At 42, I crashed. Hard. Not a graceful slowdown—a full system failure. I spent a year mostly in bed, unable to function.
-Forgiveness? Man, that's the hardest thing I've ever had to learn. Not getting forgiveness from others—that's up to them. I'm talking about forgiving yourself. Looking in the mirror and seeing someone worth saving.
+Here's what no one tells you: bravery isn't about being fearless. It's about knowing what you're willing to lose. I had to learn that the hard way.
 == Where to Start ==
-'''If you're carrying guilt:'''
+'''If you need courage at work:'''
-* [[The Weight Of Guilt]] — Yeah, it's heavy. Let's talk about it.
+* [[Saying No]] — The hardest word. Also the most powerful.
-* [[Living With Regret]] — You can't change what happened. Now what?
+* [[Difficult Conversations]] — How to have them without destroying yourself.
-* [[When Sorry Isn't Enough]] — Sometimes it isn't. Here's what else matters.
+* [[Standing Up To Authority]] — Yes, it's terrifying. Yes, sometimes you have to.
-'''If you've hurt people:'''
+'''If you're facing a big decision:'''
-* [[Making Amends]] — It's not about making yourself feel better.
+* [[The Courage To Quit]] — Sometimes brave means walking away.
-* [[When They Won't Forgive You]] — That's their right. Where does that leave you?
+* [[Brave Enough To Change]] — Starting over isn't failure.
-* [[Facing What You Did]] — No excuses. No hiding.
+* [[When The Safe Choice Isn't Right]] — Comfort can be its own kind of trap.
-'''If you're starting over:'''
+'''If you're rebuilding:'''
-* [[Second Chances]] — They're real. I'm proof.
+* [[Courage After Burnout]] — I've been there. Here's what helped.
-* [[Becoming Someone New]] — Not erasing who you were. Building on it.
+* [[Setting Boundaries]] — Not selfish. Essential.
-* [[Earning Trust Again]] — It takes time. A lot of time.
+* [[Brave Enough To Rest]] — The most radical act in a culture of hustle.
-'''If you're stuck:'''
+'''If you're struggling:'''
-* [[When You Can't Forgive Yourself]] — Sometimes that's where you are. Let's sit with it.
+* [[When Courage Fails]] — It happens. Now what?
-* [[The Difference Between Guilt And Shame]] — One can help you. The other just destroys.
+* [[The Bravery Of Asking For Help]] — Harder than doing it alone.
-* [[Moving Forward]] — Not moving on. Moving forward. There's a difference.
+* [[Brave In Small Ways]] — Grand gestures aren't the only kind.
 == A Note on This Wiki ==
-I work with at-risk youth now in East LA. Kids who remind me of myself at their age—angry, lost, making bad choices because they don't see another way. I tell them my story because I want them to know: you're never too far gone to turn things around.
+I'm a mother of twins now. I rebuilt my life from scratch after burnout, and I teach others how to avoid the same cliff edge. Not by working less—I still work hard—but by working differently. By knowing what matters. By protecting my boundaries fiercely.
-But here's what nobody tells you about redemption: it's not a moment. It's not a decision you make once. It's every single day, choosing to be the person you want to become instead of the person you were.
+Bravery, I've learned, isn't about pushing through. Sometimes it's about stopping. About saying "this isn't working" when everyone expects you to keep going. About choosing your own wellbeing over someone else's approval.
-Forgiving yourself doesn't mean what you did was okay. It means you're choosing to live anyway. To do better. To be better.
+That takes more guts than any 80-hour week ever did.
-That's what this wiki is about.
+''— [[User:Tracy_Carlson|Tracy Carlson]], recovering perfectionist''
-''— [[User:Francisco_Meyer|Francisco Meyer]], proof that people change''
 [[Category:Main]]