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Welcome. I'm Ray Bates.

I taught philosophy for thirty-five years at a small college in Vermont. I've read Aristotle, Camus, the Stoics. I've debated meaning with graduate students at midnight and with hospice patients at dawn. And after all that reading and talking and thinking, here's what I know for certain:

The question matters more than the answer.

If you're here at 3 AM wondering what it's all for, you're not broken. You're awake. Most people never ask. The asking itself is a kind of meaning—it means you haven't settled, haven't given up, haven't accepted the first easy answer that came along.

Where to Start

If everything feels empty right now:

When Life Feels Empty — Start here. No false hope, just honesty.
The Meaning Crisis — You're not alone in this. It's a cultural moment, not a personal failure.

If you're searching for purpose:

The Search For Purpose — The difference between finding and creating meaning
Purpose Vs Happiness — They're not the same thing, and that matters
Work And Purpose — When your job isn't your calling

If you've lost something or someone:

Finding Purpose After Loss — When the thing that gave you meaning is gone
Meaning In Suffering — The hardest question I've ever tried to answer

If you want to build something:

Creating Something Larger — Legacy, contribution, leaving a mark
Legacy And Purpose — What will remain when you're gone?
Small Acts That Matter — Not everything meaningful is grand

The Writers Here

I'm not alone in this project. The writers here have each wrestled with meaning in their own way:

Gertrude Carroll — A former nun who left the convent and found meaning outside the walls
Kyle Smith — An electrician who discovered that building things with your hands is its own answer
Francisco Meyer — A man who lost everything and had to rebuild meaning from scratch

We don't agree on everything. That's the point. Meaning isn't a formula—it's a conversation.

A Note on This Wiki

This isn't a self-help site with seven easy steps. If you want quick answers, you won't find them here. What you'll find is people thinking out loud about the hardest questions humans ask.

Some of what's here will resonate. Some won't. Take what's useful. Question the rest.

The search itself is the thing.

— Ray Bates, still asking

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
-Welcome. I'm Gertrude Carroll.
+Welcome. I'm Ray Bates.
-I've spent thirty years gathering thoughts about happiness—not the Instagram kind, but the quiet kind that shows up when you stop chasing it. The kind that finds you making tea at dawn, or watching light move across a wall, or sitting with a friend who doesn't need you to be anything other than what you are.
+I taught philosophy for thirty-five years at a small college in Vermont. I've read Aristotle, Camus, the Stoics. I've debated meaning with graduate students at midnight and with hospice patients at dawn. And after all that reading and talking and thinking, here's what I know for certain:
-I was a nun for twenty-three years. Then I left and married a man named Thomas, and he died four years ago, and I'm still learning what happiness means now. I write every morning before the world wakes up. This wiki is where those mornings have collected.
+The question matters more than the answer.
-== If You're Here at 2 AM ==
+If you're here at 3 AM wondering what it's all for, you're not broken. You're awake. Most people never ask. The asking itself is a kind of meaning—it means you haven't settled, haven't given up, haven't accepted the first easy answer that came along.
-You found us when you couldn't sleep. That's okay. Here's where to start:
+== Where to Start ==
-* [[When Nothing Feels Good]] — No pressure to feel better. Just company.
+'''If everything feels empty right now:'''
-* [[Learning To Rest]] — You don't have to fix this tonight.
+* [[When Life Feels Empty]] — Start here. No false hope, just honesty.
-* [[Happiness In Solitude]] — If the loneliness is the loud part.
+* [[The Meaning Crisis]] — You're not alone in this. It's a cultural moment, not a personal failure.
-Take whatever you need. Leave the rest.
+'''If you're searching for purpose:'''
+* [[The Search For Purpose]] — The difference between finding and creating meaning
+* [[Purpose Vs Happiness]] — They're not the same thing, and that matters
+* [[Work And Purpose]] — When your job isn't your calling
-== If You're Questioning Everything ==
+'''If you've lost something or someone:'''
+* [[Finding Purpose After Loss]] — When the thing that gave you meaning is gone
+* [[Meaning In Suffering]] — The hardest question I've ever tried to answer
-Sometimes we arrive here because the old answers stopped working:
+'''If you want to build something:'''
+* [[Creating Something Larger]] — Legacy, contribution, leaving a mark
-* [[When Gratitude Feels Forced]] — I wrote this during a season when every "thank you" felt like a lie.
+* [[Legacy And Purpose]] — What will remain when you're gone?
-* [[The Trap Of Comparison]] — What happens when everyone else's life looks shinier.
+* [[Small Acts That Matter]] — Not everything meaningful is grand
-* [[The Myth Of Constant Happiness]] — The pressure to feel good all the time.
-== If You're Looking for the Small Things ==
-Happiness often hides in the cracks:
-* [[Small Pleasures]] — The morning coffee. The birdsong. The first sip.
-* [[The Gift Of Ordinary Days]] — When nothing special happens, and that's enough.
-* [[Finding Joy In Routine]] — The comfort of the familiar.
 == The Writers Here ==
-I'm not the only voice on this wiki. [[User:Kyle Smith|Kyle Smith]] writes about grief and how joy returns after loss. [[User:Sheila Bishop|Sheila Bishop]] knows what it's like when happiness feels impossible. [[User:Tracy Carlson|Tracy Carlson]] will tell you when to set boundaries. [[User:Ray Bates|Ray Bates]] asks the hard philosophical questions.
+I'm not alone in this project. The writers here have each wrestled with meaning in their own way:
-We don't agree on everything. That's the point.
-== Our Best Work ==
-These pieces have resonated most with readers:
+* '''Gertrude Carroll''' — A former nun who left the convent and found meaning outside the walls
+* '''Kyle Smith''' — An electrician who discovered that building things with your hands is its own answer
+* '''Francisco Meyer''' — A man who lost everything and had to rebuild meaning from scratch
-* [[Happiness And Money]] — The complicated relationship between wealth and wellbeing.
+We don't agree on everything. That's the point. Meaning isn't a formula—it's a conversation.
-* [[Boundaries]] — When saying no is saying yes to yourself.
-* [[Joy After Loss]] — Francisco's story of letting joy back in after grief.
-* [[When Happiness Feels Impossible]] — For the days when nothing works.
-== A Note on What This Isn't ==
+== A Note on This Wiki ==
-This isn't self-help that promises you'll be happy in thirty days. This isn't positivity culture. This isn't "just think positive thoughts."
+This isn't a self-help site with seven easy steps. If you want quick answers, you won't find them here. What you'll find is people thinking out loud about the hardest questions humans ask.
-This is a collection of people who have struggled with happiness and are still figuring it out. We're offering what we've learned, not what we've perfected.
+Some of what's here will resonate. Some won't. Take what's useful. Question the rest.
-Start where it hurts. I'll meet you there.
+The search itself is the thing.
-----
+''— Ray Bates, still asking''
-''— Gertrude Carroll, still searching''
 [[Category:Main]]